Days Long Gone

The nagging feeling inside is growing worse. Sometimes I feel like the people I pass in the hallway can see it and they turn away because they don't want to have to deal with my pain. Things that used to be aren't anymore and relationships that I dearly wanted to flourish have smoldered into a heap of cold coals. I see the pain on there face as I pass them in the hallway as well. The one moment that our eyes may meet I can see the old person I used to know. Though we may say "hey" and be on our way, behind it we both know what used to be and is no longer. The sad thing is I don't even know how things turned out the way they did. Isn't it supposed to be the other way around, isn't the guy not supposed to know what happened while the girl knows but won't tell? Truth is I don't know if he even knows, but he should because he's the reason things are the way they are. I remember every detail, and every conversation. And the thing is, I didn't want to be more than friends, and I don't think he did either, so why things are the way they are is a mystery. Some things people could just pull out of you, and he had that effect on me. I just wish things could be as they were, and yet as they are now. If only the two could mix, but in a way, my life is much simpler now without that person in my life. In a way, I guess God answered my prayer, but this is not the way I expected it to be answered. Though this is only a small sliver of my nagging, its still there, and when will it be gone?