My favorite thing about the winter is the fireplace. Not so much the getting the firewood and bringing it into the house, but when all is said and done and the fire is going, I love it. Especially at night. Its soothing to turn off the lights and watch the shadows move across the room. When I get older I want to build a house with a fireplace in every room. Or at least close to every room. They add character to a house. Along with very large Christmas trees that don't fit, but it only comes one time a year so you have to get a memorable tree. The same saying goes for apple cider, we never have any at our house because we always drink it all. But fall only comes once a year so I have to consume as much apple cider that I would throughout the year, in the few short months that apples are in season. My next favorite part about winter is the first snow. Come February, I'm pretty much tired of winter, even though thats when all the snow comes. The only downfall of winter is chlorine. Not many people like going from extreme to extreme to extreme. Its cold outside, warm on the pool deck, freezing in the pool. And you smell like chlorine forever. The people who think it smells good are just crazy. I've decided that once high school is over, so is swimming. I really never want to get in a pool again. I'm sure I will but never at 5:30 in the morning every day. But its almost winter. Close to my favorite time of the year. And time to stop dawdling and get back to my homework):

No One Understands

I'm falling apart. And I don't know what to do about it. It's as plain as that. I have trouble sleeping, thinking, I'm constantly dizzy, my shaking's gotten worse, and I'm getting tremendous headaches. I feel I should be excited for this swim season, and I got a glimmer of that on Saturday, but it was gone in a flash. I rarely get nervous or scared now because it pulls to much energy from me. I'm stuck in a rut. I'm seeing the worst side of me and it's becoming a constant image instead of a passing glimpse. I don't know how to say how I feel. It's bad.